The Interview
by ShiroInu
Summary: When ShiroInu sits the gang down for a much needed Interview; what will be said? ( Note: Not intended to offend anyone. ) Purely HumorParody.


The Interview!

Authors Notes: Originally started on June 09, 2004.

ShiroInu: Hello and welcome to a cute little one-sho..-Is hit in the head with a acorn and turns to glare at Shippou.-

Shippou: Cute? Little? We're here to rant, thank-you-very-much-glare.-

Inuyasha: Damn straight! I'm sick of this fuckin' shit ab-..-howls in pain.-

ShiroInu-calmly places the dog whistle back in her side pocket.- As I was saying, this is a fic in which I have decided to let the charecters of the popular and well known anime show 'Inuyasha.' come and talk about what pisses them off and interview them on some things.. AND ABOUT YOUR GODDAMN FICS THAT ARE ALL SCREWED UP! ANd-..-is hit over the head with a giant boomerang.-

Sango: What she means is that, a lot of us are not very happy about your fics.

Miroku: Indeed. -solemn look.- You all seem to put me as the 'down-and-dirty-monk', when I clearly am no-..

Sango: Pfft, yeah right lecher.

Shippou: And why do you all make me out to be some weirdo little annoying kid? I am a lot more mature than that!

Everyone-dry looks.-

Shippou-glares.-

Kagome: Anyways.. Personally I think it's.. disgusting, putting me in lemon fics with Sesshoumaru and Kouga.. and Naraku! I mean, come on people, you act as if you've never seen the shoW!

Inuyasha: Whats a lemon? Anyways, I'LL TEAR ANYONES THROAT OUT WHO PUTS MY KAGOME IN SOME DAMN SEX FIC WITH MY ASS OF A BROTHER!

ShiroInu: And I'm a total Inu/Kag fan, Sesshy is ok..-recives glares and ignores them.- But what happened to the original Inu/Kag fics?

All: Wait..MY Kagome?

Inuyasha-is long gone, a cloud of dust is all that is seen.-

KagomE: Weird..

Sango: Anyways, you all seem to be handling me fairly well-blushes.- Even if you are putting me with that pervert..

Miroku-palms her behind.- You know you like it, Sango.

Sango-whacks him with Hiraikotsu.-

Miroku-unconcious.-

Kagome: Well, the other day I saw a Inu/San fic an-..

Sango and Miroku: WHAT!

Sango: Thats..absurd!

Miroku-calmly placing his hands on his Kazaana and walking off toward the direction Inuyasha disapeared too.-

Kagome-looking slightly green.- And Shippou/Inu..

ShiroInu: And that was sick too, my god.. Mainly because it was Shippou when he was still, erm.. young.

Shippou-vomiting in background.-

Sango: And I thought Miroku was bad..

Kagome-shudder.- There's a lot of really strange people out there..

ShiroInu: Indeed, and I just want to ask, WHERE IS THE LOVE-cracks up.-

Kagome-.-; Sorry, she's a little whacked off candy.

ShiroInu: Yeah and you're a little whacked off Inu-chan's fuzzy ears .

Kagome-blush.-

-A commotion is heard,a few cuss words and then a huge gust of wind is sucked by.-

.."WIND TUNNEL!"

.."YOU FUCKIN BOUZU! I SWEAR! I'M NOT INTO HER!"

.."You dirty dog!"

.."Hey! LET go of that door!"

.."Are you fuckin' crazy! He'll suck me up!"

.."Miroku! Leave him be!"

.."Houshi-sama,leave Inuyasha alone!"

.."San-.."

-The winds shift as if hes turning.-

.."NO MIROKU!"

.."Oh..shit."

-screaming.-

-

A hour later..

Kagome: There there Inuyasha..-rubs his ears, which are red and scratched up.-

Inuyasa-whimpers.- Fuckin'..bouzu..

ShiroInu: He went flying into the opposite wall when Miroku cut off his wind tunnel, poor thing..Look at his fuzzy wittle ears..

Inuyasha: Is that all you fuckin' care about!

ShiroInu-tugs on bruised ears.-

Inuyasha-yelp.- Bitch!

Kagome: Inuyasha, be nice..and ShiroInu..Er, be sane. -rubs his ears again.-

ShiroInu and Inuyasha: Keh, I'll try.

Kagome-sweatdrop.-

Sango-sighs heavily.- Miroku, listen-..

Miroku-glaring daggers at Inuyasha.-

ShiroInu: How sweet.

All: Shut up!

ShiroInu-.-; Wheres the lo-..

Sango: Clearly it's not here.

Shippou-tied up in closet.- Mmhh!

Kagome: And what about your fic ShiroInu? Making Hojo some crazy murderer?

ShiroInu-Blowing bubbles out of a pipe.- What the people want, the people get.

Kagome-sweatdrops.-

Inuyasha: Feh; People want action bitch! Me kicking some Kouga ass and-..

ShiroInu: Speaking of Kouga; You and wolf boy are my favorite Yaoi couple-tweaks his ears.-

Sango and Kagome-cracking up.-

Inuyasha-passes out.-

Kouga: Oi! Your sick-appears.-

ShiroInu: Kouga, what're you doing here-grinning.-

Kouga-ignores the question and advances.- You creepy ass wench!

Sango: This is getting good.

Kagome: Tell me about it. -passes popcorn.-

ShiroInu-mentions casually as she dodges Kouga's attacks.- Did you know SangoXKag and MirXInu couples are getting as popular as KagxInu?

Kagome and Sango-glance at each other with horror written on their faces.-

Miroku-looks sick and rushes to the bathroom.-

ShiroInu: I suppose I should just stop talking Yaoi/Yuri things, huh?

All: YES.

ShiroInu: ;; Hehehehehe.

Kouga-continues vomitting.-

Miroku-wipes his mouth and slowly sits down.- God.

Kagome-massages Inuyasha's ears.-

Inuyasha-purrrrrr.-

ShiroInu-breaks out in a pose.- Now to our ultimate debate!

All-looks scared.-

ShiroInu: Whos the most cute? Shippou, Miroku, Inuyasha? Write it on a piece of paper and put it in this hat. -holds out a huge hat.-

Kagome-Ish the first one done, tosses it in the hat all like.- Well, that was fun.

Sango-shyly places hers in.-

Random Fangirl: OH GOD OHMYGOD-puts hers in, squealing.- OHMYGOSH OH GOD-explodes.-

Inuyasha: Ew..theres fangirl on my hand. -shakes it off, mouthing 'icky!' -

Cable guy-has an eye patch.- Yay-puts his in.-

Miroku-eyes the cable guy who is staring at him, drooling.- Eh..

ShiroInu: OK! The votes are in! Hmm..

1. Inuyasha ( This person obsessively drew dog ears and hearts all over the paper )  
2. Inuyasha ( This person left chunks of fangirl. )  
3. Miroku ( I smell angst! )  
4. Miroku ( Strangely, its written on the back of a cable company card. )  
5. Bob. ( WTF? )

ShiroInu: Who the hell is Bob! Oh wait..I wrote that.

Inuyasha-sneaking looks at Kagome who is blushing madly.-

Sango-glares at ShiroInu, muttering about 'angst' and 'stupid crazy bitch'.-

Miroku-is vomitting in the bathroom.-

Cable guy: OH LOVER! COME BACK!

Miroku: No! Gods stay awa-..-retching sounds.-

ShiroInu: Anyways, everyone - Name one thing about how authors write about you that piss you off.

Kagome: Well, I always get played out as a cry-baby! I mean, sure I cry but geez..

ShiroInu: My friend thought you were ditsy too. XD

Kagome: I am not! That's my friends.

Inuyasha: Keh, I'm always the -bad- guy. Like they know anything! I always save everybody's asses...-grumble.-

Kagome: Aw. -rubs ears.-

Inuyasha-purr-

Sango: Well, I don't know..people usually do ok with me.

Shippou: WELL I HATE 'EM ALL! I'm always the annoying little kid, hell, some people just leave me out in the entire story! Including you ShiroInu-glare.-

ShiroInu: When did you get out of the closet?

Shippou-fumes.-

ShiroInu: Anywho! What about you Miro-.. oh, never mind, he's still heaving in the bathroom.

Shippou-continues to fume.-

ShiroInu: What's wrong? Constipated?

Shippou: I hate you.

ShiroInu: That's great. Anyways.. So! On to our next contest! Who is the cutest girl on the show?

Shippou-unknown to everyone, slowly begins to become ebil.-

Kagome-blushes.- Oh man..

Sango-blinkblink.- What?

Miroku-drinks a cup of water.- So, how many girls' can we mention?

Sango-gasps and glares evilly at him.- You're such a lecher!

ShiroInu: Annnggggstttt.

Sango: Shut up, hooker-slap.-

Kagome: Sango-chan! Calm down.. -reaches out to consoul her friend.-

Sango-bursts into tears and runs away screaming.-

Kagome: Oh dear, Sango-runs after her.-

ShiroInu: Hooker? HA-chuckles.-

Miroku: Eh.. I was joking?

Inuyasha: Feh. -scribbles on a piece of paper and flicks it in the hat.-

ShiroInu: Hm, not enough guys.. I'll vote, too-drops in hers.- ;

Miroku-droolingly places his in.-

Shippou-darkly drops in his.-

Kagome-returns with Sango, patting her shoulder.-

Sango-sniffs, not looking at Miroku.-

ShiroInu: WOOHOO! Now the results..

Sango. ( Has little flowers drawn around her name. )

Kagome. ( Really bad writing, almost unintelligible. )

ShiroInu. ( Has a bloody knife drawn next to her name. -gulp- )

Kagome. ( Has the word 'BOOTAY!' next to it. )

Sango. ( The hell.. it's on the back of a cable company card! )

ShiroInu-stares at the card with her name on it, a bit fearful.- Eheh.. another tie!

Cable Man: Teehee-licks his lips at Sango.-

Sango-squirms uncomfortably.-

Kagome-glares a bit at ShiroInu, whom whistles innocently.-

Miroku-begins to beat the cable man into a bloody pulp.-

Inuyasha-looks a bit shy, glancing away from Kagome.-

ShiroInu: Whoever voted for Kagome had shitty hand writing, what an idiot. -purposely says this, hiding a grin.-

Inuyasha: HEY! You try writing after sleeping for 50 years.. Oh shit.

Kagome-blushes bright red.-

Sango: Awww!

ShiroInu: Haha! Inu-.. hey, he's gone.

Inuyasha-a cloud of dust settles where he once sat.-

Miroku-drags the cable man's body into the darkness.-

Shippou-twitches slightly.-

Kagome: What's wrong, Shippou-chan?

Shippou: F-forgive me..

Kagome: W-what?

Shippou: KYAAA-brandishes a large, sharp knife and tackles ShiroInu.-

ShiroInu: Holy SHIT-eeps as she falls backward off her chair.-

Shippou: Die, you evil bi-.. -is tugged at.-

Kagome: No! Shippou! Don't do it-tries to pry him off.-

Sango: Oh my god! No Shippou!

Shippou: Shut up-uses fox fire to light Kagome on fire.-

Kagome: AHH! OH GOD! IT BURNS-screaming in agony.-

Sango: KAGOME-CHAN-begins to scream.-

Miroku: Sango! Sango, what's.. OH DEAR LORD! KAGOME-SAMA!

Inuyasha: YOU BASTARD-uses Tetsusaiga to slice Shippou's head off.-

Shippou-blood splurts from his neck.-

Kagome-screaming louder, flinging her body around as the blue fire, tainted with black, engulfs her body.-

Inuyasha-rips off his fire rat coat and throws it over Kagome, extinguishing the flames finally.- Oh gods, Kagome..

Kagome-sobbing loudly.-

ShiroInu: O.O;;; What the hell just happened?

Sango: Shippou went insane.

ShiroInu: Woah. o.o;;;

Inuyasha-holds Kagome firmly.- It's okay, don't worry..

Kagome: I'm-i'm going to d-die.

Sesshoumaru-appears.- This Sesshoumaru lusts after Kagome, thus, he shall save her life. -uses Tensaiga on her and then wanders off.-

ShiroInu-swoons.- Oh, he's so smexy!

Sango: Wow..

Miroku: How odd!

Inuyasha: That asshole! What the hell did he just say!

Kagome: I-I'm alive! w00t w00t!

ShiroInu: The end! Remember to review, bitches. 


End file.
